What's Age Matter?
by Sexykill69
Summary: Is America being taken advantage of? China Suspects Russia of being a Pedophile, Is he right? Does any one actaully care? Drabble. Turning into a lemon soonish.


"This meeting will now come to order!" Germany's voice bellowed across the room causing a momentary pause in the other nations' antics.

"Yes, it must because I have a question to ask-aru!"

It was rare for China to interrupt world meetings, except when he was trying to sell something. Germany glanced over in skepticism, hoping this wasn't about why there wasn't a Chinatown in the conference room again.

"America, I need you to answer a question for me-aru!" China chanced looking America dead in the eyes, a tactical glint shining in his opal gaze.

"Huh?" America momentarily paused from his work on his tremendously awesome 2.0 gliding paper airplane and tried to focus in on what the Chinese man was saying.

"Exactly how old are you-aru?"

"Huh?" the American repeated. "Why would you need to know something like that?"

China shot a sidelong glance at Russia that went unnoticed.

"No particular reason-aru."

"You stopped the meeting for this? Unaccepta–!"

"Well that's a ridiculous question!" England exclaimed, cutting off Ludwig mid-rant, "He's just as old as when I found him!"

"Mon petit ami, don't you mean when we found him?"

"Wank off, you bloody frog!" "We'll I'd be delighted to, but isn't that your job you pervert king!"

"Hey, wait a second! I'm the one who told you about him in the first place!" Finland butted in.

"'Tis true."

"Of course Sweden would defend his wife!" Denmark laughed.

"Sue-san, tell them I'm not your wife!" Finland blushed madly while Sweden merely sat and watched.

"Aww, Lovi look, isn't Finland cute? He looks just like you do when you ****, and blush like a tomato!"

Suddenly a loud smack echoed throughout the conference room.

"Ve~! Brother, I think you killed Spain!"

"That really wasn't cute…" Spain dejectedly mumbled from the floor.

England could be heard laughing at Spain's misfortune while France interposed, "Come to think of it, Antonio wasn't it your colony that first visited Little America?"

Antonio tilted his head in thought, "I suppose we did, but I never saw him."

"I did!" Mexico spoke up, proudly. "Remember the Aztecs? America used to be a part of me!" The smaller Spanish speaking nation declared.

"Remember the Alamo?" American gave Mexico a warning look. Who at the moment was leaning on America's hand rest, "And stick to your goddamn border!" America pounded his fist on the table.

"Ve, Germany, can we get pasta afterwards?" Italy lightly rubbed Germany's shoulder who had given up on controlling the situation long ago.

"Oh, that's right! Wasn't America ruled by the Indians? Does that mean you pulled a Michael Jackson on us?" Cuba snidely remarked.

"That's none of your business, Cuba!" The American glared.

"Well if you think about it, officially America should only be as old as when he claimed Independence," an unknown voice rang through the air.

"Who said that?"

"Cana–"

"–Well then, that settles it! Mon petite Amérique is 234! Still a baby!" So precious, young, and ripe- France wiped away some drool from his mouth.

"Nevertheless I don't formally recognize his independence until blasted 7 years later! And I still say the wanker didn't deserve it."

"Ha Ha Ha! You're still bitter England?" America Laughed.

"Wait a minute-aru! I want to know how old America is from when he first became 'one of us'!"

"Like when my first president was?

"No, no-aru! When was your first memory?"

"Yao-Yao, what's this sudden curiosity with our dear America?" a child-like voice asked, effectively silencing all else in the room.

With an obvious chip on his shoulder, China turned to face it. "No reason, I just thought that perhaps it should be made clear."

"Oh, well, that's very simple then." Russia smiled graciously fooling nobody. "Most scientists believe the first Native Americans came from Asia at least 15,000 years ago, I thought you would know that much, dear China." Russia's voice held a certain malicious intent, "Some think they may have arrived as early as 35,000 years ago. At the time of the first natives, huge ice sheets covered much of the northern half of the earth, So America was just like me.~" Russia's smile didn't falter. "But then the Bering Strait–surely you remember that China? –closed up and you lost many hunters that had been on the North American continent. People following the animals that they hunted wandered across this land, a distance of about 80 kilometers. That's 50 miles for the idiots that don't use the metric system."

"–Hey!"

"Ehu! Before European arrival, the Indians had spread throughout the New World. Varied tribes and cultures ranged from the Arctic regions of North America to the southern tip of South America. But then England came and ruined it all. To be honest America must have been reborn about twice now, but if you want it from my perspective he's just around your age, Wang Yao." Russia finished with that same creepy, well-meaning smile as he took his seat.

Most of the countries in the room looked aghast none more so than England. "You wanker! You're nearly 35,000? How dare you pretend you're some child! No wonder you were so strong!"

"Hey! I don't remember it!" America said in his defense.

" I do," Russia giggled. "America do not be so shy of your age. In this lifetime you are merely 370. I remember because that was back in the days when Finland was absolutely terrified of me. He thought I didn't know where his and Sweden's little hiding place was and ran into you by mistake." Russia kept chuckling. "But, for that matter, technically I am still only 88 years old or 19. Russian Federation falling apart, da?" A slight glare was sent towards America.

And that's when everyone stopped listening.

Thanks to Midnight Wolf for making this all possible! This story was a train wreck before she got her hands on it! And then I took so long to post it! Thank you for all your hard work darling! I highly suggest using her as a Beta if you get the chance~

Formally, it is considered that the formation date of the Russian State (or Rus') is 862 A.D. The USSR is orginated in 1922, modern Russia (Russian Federation) - in 1991. But the legends and scripts say that Russia is 5000 years because there were Slavic words in Critian texts.

Anywhoozle~ Sequel? I was thinking of putting a second chapter where China walks in on America and Russia…but got lazy. But there is supposed RussxAme here…*laugh*


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